The Newborn Child

Called softly in the newborn’s right ear, so that the first word to reach them is the greatness of Allah.

A little date, softened and rubbed on the palate by a righteous person, who then makes du‘ā for the child and asks Allah to bless them. Where no date is at hand, anything sweet.

Three things fall together on the seventh day: the sacrifice, the naming, and the shaving of the head.

Two sheep for a boy, one for a girl — and one for a boy suffices where means are short.

A sunnah mu’akkadah per M, S and Ḥb; a voluntary good per Ḥ.

Same conditions as the uḍḥiyah: age and freedom from defect.

Missed on the seventh, it may be done on the fourteenth, the twenty-first, or whenever able.

Eaten, given as gifts, and given in charity. Do not break its bones needlessly.

The head is shaved and the weight of the hair in silver is given in charity. Shave it wholly or not at all — leaving patches is forbidden.

A child will be called by it on the Day of Resurrection, and by their father’s name. Choose with care.

Any name of servitude to other than Allah.

Names belonging to Allah alone — al-Khāliq, ar-Raḥmān, al-Aḥad.

Malik al-Mulūk, King of kings.

Names claiming purity for their bearer, and names of ill meaning. The Prophet ﷺ changed several — Barrah he renamed Zaynab, and ‘Āṣiyah he renamed Jamīlah.

Naming on the day of birth is also established, and the seventh day is not a condition. A child is attributed to their father; where he is unknown, they are named as one’s brother in faith, never given a false lineage.

Recite al-Fātiḥah, Āyat al-Kursī and the three quls over them, blowing lightly into the palms and wiping what you can reach of the body.

Amulets, threads and charms hung on a child are forbidden, even when Qur’ānic words are written on them — the protection sought is in the words recited, not in an object worn.

Two full years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing. Weaning earlier by mutual consent is permitted, and no blame attaches to it.

A woman who nurses a child becomes their mother in prohibition — and her husband their father, her children their siblings. Marriage between them is thereafter forbidden for life.

S and Ḥb — five separate satisfying feeds establish it.

Ḥ and M — any amount that reaches the stomach establishes it.

All four require it to occur within the first two years.

Keep a record. Where a child is fed by a relative, a friend, or from donated milk, write down who fed them and when. Families have discovered the bond only at the point of marriage, when it was too late to undo.

Command them at seven, and at ten enforce it — and separate their sleeping places.

No obligation. Let them stand beside you and imitate. Teach al-Fātiḥah and the short sūrahs by hearing them daily.

Instructed to pray. Teach wuḍū properly, the times, and the words. Praise more than you correct.

Held to it firmly. Boys attend the congregation. Sleeping places are separated.

Now obligatory in their own right, and fasting with it. Marked by the first wet dream, or menstruation in a girl, or the growth of coarse hair — and at fifteen where no sign has appeared.

A good name, and a known lineage.

Maintenance — food, clothing, shelter and medicine, until they can provide for themselves.

Teaching — their religion first, then what will let them stand on their own.

Justice between them — in gifts, in attention and in affection. “Fear Allah, and be just between your children.”

Mercy — “He who does not show mercy is not shown mercy.”

Not to be cursed, nor supplicated against in anger — an hour may fall in which such a prayer is answered.