Marital Relations

When a man calls his wife to fulfill his sexual desire, she should immediately respond to him, even if she is busy doing something that none but her can do, such as baking or cooking.

سنن الترمذي، نشر: شركة مكتبة ومطبعة مصطفى البابي الحلبي – مصر، الطبعة: الثانية، 1395هـ - 1975م. صحيح الجامع الصغير وزبادته, تأليف: أبو عبدالرحمن محمد ناصر الدين الألباني, الناشر: المكتب الإسلامي. مرقاة المفاتيح شرح مشكاة المصابيح, تأليف: علي بن سلطان القاري, الناشر: دار الفكر, ط1 عام 1422. تحفة الأحوذي بشرح جامع الترمذي, تأليف: أبو العلا محمد عبدالرحمن المباركفوري, الناشر: دار الكتب العلمية. دليل الفالحين لطرق رياض الصالحين، لابن علان، نشر دار الكتاب العربي. تحفة الأبرار شرح مصابيح السنة, تأليف: القاضي ناصر الدين عبدالله البيضاوي, تحقيق: لجنة مختصة بإشراف نور الدين طالب, الناشر: وزارة الأوقاف بالكويت, عام 1433. بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين, تأليف: سليم بن عيد الهلالي, دار ابن الجوزي.

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) informs that the most perfect people in terms of their faith are those who possess excellent manners, have cheerful faces, do good, speak kind words, and refrain from hurting others. And that the best believers are those who are kindest to their womenfolk - their wives, daughters, sisters, and other female relatives - for they are among the worthiest of good treatment.

1. The Hadīth points out the merit of good manners and that they are part of faith.
2. Good deeds are part of faith, and faith increases and decreases.
3. Islam honors women and encourages kindness to them.

سنن أبي داود (7/ 70) (4682). سنن الترمذي (2/ 454) (1162). مسند أحمد ط الرسالة (12/ 364) (7402). سلسلة الأحاديث الصحيحة وشيء من فقهها وفوائدها، للألباني (1/ 573). بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين، لسليم الهلالي (1/ 362). شرح رياض الصالحين، لابن عثيمين (3/ 130). كنوز رياض الصالحين، لمجموعة من الباحثين (5/ 234).

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) informs that every Muslim in the society has a responsibility to undertake and bear. The leader or the ruler is a guardian over those Allah has placed in his charge. He is responsible for preserving their legislation, defending against whoever wrongs them, fighting against their enemies, and not wasting their rights. The man in his family is responsible for providing for them, treating them kindly, teaching, and disciplining them. The woman in her husband's house is a guardian for managing his house well and bringing up his children, and she will be held accountable for this. The servant and the employee are responsible for their masters' wealth by preserving what is under their control thereof and serving them, and they will be held accountable for that. So, everyone is a guardian over what has been placed under his charge, and everyone is responsible for his subjects.

1. The responsibility in the Muslim community is general and everyone should fulfill his responsibility according to his ability.
2. The woman's responsibility is great, as she is responsible for fulfilling the right of her husband's house and her duties towards her children.

صحيح البخاري (3/ 150) (2554). صحيح مسلم (3/ 1459) (1829). بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين، لسليم الهلالي (1/ 369). إرشاد الساري لشرح صحيح البخاري، القسطلاني (4/ 326).

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) forbade the beating of wives. Then the Commander of the Believers, ‘Umar ibn al-Khattāb (may Allah be pleased with him), came and said: O Messenger of Allah, women have become bold toward their husbands, and their manners have worsened. The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him), thus, permitted beating them in a manner that is not severe if there is a valid reason for it, such as refusing to fulfill the husband's rights or disobedience and the like. Then, after that, women came to the wives of the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) complaining that their husbands were beating them severely and misusing this concession. So the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: Those men who beat their wives severely are not the best among you.

1. A clarification of the virtue of treating women kindly, and that being patient with them and overlooking their faults is better than beating them.
2. Allah Almighty made beating the last step in addressing a wife's disobedience, as He said: {As for those women on whose part you fear rebellion, [first] admonish them, [next] forsake them in bed, and [last] hit them. Then if they obey you, do not take further action against them. Indeed, Allah is Most High, All-Great.} [Surat an-Nisā’: 34] These three steps are to be followed in order, not to be applied all at once. One must begin with advice, admonition, and reminders. If that proves effective, then praise be to Allah. If it does not help, then comes separation in bed. And if that still does not result in change, only then may one resort to beating, as a form of discipline, not out of revenge.
3. A man is a caretaker for his household, and he is responsible for raising and disciplining his family with wisdom and good counsel.
4. It is permissible to question or review a scholar regarding his Fatwa (legal opinion), to understand its consequences and outcomes.
5. It is permissible to lodge a complaint with the ruler or a scholar if the complainant suffered harm.

سنن أبي داود (3/ 479) (2146). سنن ابن ماجه (3/ 152) (1985). بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين، لسليم الهلالي (1/ 363). مرقاة المفاتيح، لعلي القاري (5/ 2127).

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) forbade the wife from harming her husband, because the husband is but a guest in this world and he will soon depart to the Hereafter where he will enter Paradise and join his Houri wives therein.

- رياض الصالحين من كلام سيد المرسلين؛ للإمام أبي زكريا النووي، تحقيق د. ماهر الفحل، دار ابن كثير-دمشق، الطبعة الأولى، 1428ه. - دليل الفالحين لطرق رياض الصالحين؛ لمحمد بن علان الشافعي، دار الكتاب العربي-بيروت - بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين؛ تأليف سليم بن عيد الهلالي، دار ابن الجوزي- الطبعة الأولى1418ه. - مرقاة المفاتيح :علي بن سلطان القاري -دار الفكر، بيروت – لبنان الطبعة -الأولى، 1422هـ - 2002م. - سنن الترمذي - محمد بن عيسى ، الترمذي، تحقيق وتعليق:أحمد محمد شاكر ومحمد فؤاد عبد الباقي وإبراهيم عطوة عوض -شركة مكتبة ومطبعة مصطفى البابي الحلبي – مصر-الطبعة: الثانية، 1395 هـ - 1975 م. - سنن ابن ماجه : أبو عبد الله محمد بن يزيد القزويني، تحقيق: محمد فؤاد عبد الباقي- دار إحياء الكتب العربية - فيصل عيسى البابي الحلبي. - مسند الإمام أحمد بن حنبل المحقق: شعيب الأرنؤوط - عادل مرشد، وآخرون إشراف: د عبد الله بن عبد المحسن التركي مؤسسة الرسالة الطبعة: الأولى، 1421 هـ - 2001 م. - سلسلة الأحاديث الصحيحة وشيء من فقهها وفوائدها/محمد ناصر الدين، الألباني مكتبة المعارف للنشر والتوزيع، الرياض-الطبعة: الأولى، (مكتبة المعارف).

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said that if he were going to order a human being to prostrate himself to another human being, then he would have ordered the wife to prostrate herself to her husband due to the great right that her husband has over her. However, prostrating oneself before other than Allah, the Almighty, is absolutely prohibited.

الجامع الكبير (سنن الترمذي), تأليف: محمد بن عيسى الترمذي, تحقيق وتعليق: أحمد محمد شاكر ومحمد فؤاد عبد الباقي وإبراهيم عطوة عوض -شركة مكتبة ومطبعة مصطفى البابي الحلبي - مصر - الطبعة: الثانية، 1395 هـ - 1975 م. إرواء الغليل في تخريج أحاديث منار السبيل, تأليف: محمد ناصر الدين الألباني, الناشر: المكتب الإسلامي, ط2 عام 1405. بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين, تأليف: سليم بن عيد الهلالي, دار ابن الجوزي. مرقاة المفاتيح شرح مشكاة المصابيح, تأليف: علي بن سلطان القاري, الناشر: دار الفكر, ط1 عام 1422.

Mention was made of coitus interruptus in the presence of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and that some men practiced it with their wives and their slave women. So, the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) asked them in a reproachful tone about the reason for doing that. Then, he responded to their purpose for doing such a practice by a convincing answer that urges them to stop it. He told them that Allah, the Almighty, has already passed the Divine Decrees, and such a practice would never prevent the creation of a soul that Allah ordained to be created and exist. This is because Allah is the Creator of the causes and the results. If Allah wanted to create a sperm-drop (soul) from the man's semen, it would unconsciously move to its firm lodging.

- صحيح البخاري –الجامع الصحيح-؛ للإمام أبي عبد الله محمد بن إسماعيل البخاري، عناية محمد زهير الناصر، دار طوق النجاة، الطبعة الأولى، 1422هـ. - صحيح مسلم؛ للإمام مسلم بن الحجاج، حققه ورقمه محمد فؤاد عبد الباقي، دار عالم الكتب-الرياض، الطبعة الأولى، 1417هـ. - الإلمام بشرح عمدة الأحكام للشيخ إسماعيل الأنصاري-مطبعة السعادة-الطبعة الثانية 1392ه. - تيسير العلام شرح عمدة الأحكام-عبد الله البسام-تحقيق محمد صبحي حسن حلاق- مكتبة الصحابة- الشارقة- الطبعة العاشرة- 1426ه.

Jābir ibn ‘Abdullāh (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that they used to practice coitus interruptus with their wives and female slaves during the lifetime of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and he approved this method. Had it not been permissible, he would not have approved it. It is as if one claimed that perhaps the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) did not know what you were doing. Therefore, he said: If the Prophet did not know about this issue, then definitely Allah, Blessed and Exalted, knew about it, and the Qur'an was still being revealed. Had it been something unlawful, Allah would have revealed a verse in the Qur'an prohibiting it. Reconciliation between the texts: The Hadīth of Jābir is evidence that coitus interruptus is permissible, but there are other texts that speak about the impermissibility of such an act. An example of that is the Hadīth that was narrated by Imām Muslim on the authority of Judhāmah bint Wahb who said: I came along with some people to the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and they asked him about coitus interruptus. He said: "That is the disguised form of burying children alive." How can one reconcile between these texts? The answer is: The basic rule is that it is permissible to practice coitus interruptus based on the Hadīth of Jābir and Abu Sa‘īd, may Allah be pleased with them. The Hadīth of Judhāmah, however, applies to the case when coitus interruptus is used as a method of birth control. This could be understood from the Prophet's statement: "That is the disguised form of burying children alive." Another way of reconciliation is to say that coitus interruptus is only disliked, not forbidden.

- صحيح البخاري، للإمام أبي عبد الله محمد بن إسماعيل البخاري، عناية محمد زهير الناصر، دار طوق النجاة، الطبعة الأولى، 1422هـ. - صحيح مسلم، للإمام مسلم بن الحجاج، حققه ورقمه محمد فؤاد عبد الباقي، دار عالم الكتب - الرياض، الطبعة الأولى، 1417هـ. - الإلمام بشرح عمدة الأحكام، للشيخ إسماعيل الأنصاري -مطبعة السعادة- الطبعة الثانية، 1392ه. - تيسير العلام شرح عمدة الأحكام، عبد الله البسام، تحقيق محمد صبحي حسن حلاق، مكتبة الصحابة، الشارقة، الطبعة العاشرة، 1426ه. - خلاصة الكلام شرح عمدة الأحكام، فيصل بن عبد العزيز بن فيصل ابن حمد المبارك الحريملي النجدي، الطبعة الثانية، 1412هـ - 1992م. - منحة العلام في شرح بلوغ المرام، تأليف عبد الله الفوزان - طبعة دار ابن الجوزي - الطبعة الأولى، 1428ه. - توضيح الأحكام شرح بلوغ المرام، تأليف عبد الله البسام- مكتبة الأسدي، مكة المكرمة، الطبعة الخامِسَة، 1423هـ - 2003م. - فتح ذي الجلال والإكرام بشرح بلوغ المرام، للشيخ ابن عثيمين، المكتبة الإسلامية، القاهرة، تحقيق صبحي رمضان وأم إسراء بيومي- الطبعة الأولى، 1427ه. - الإفهام في شرح عمدة الأحكام، عبد العزيز بن عبد الله بن باز، حققه واعتنى به وخرج أحاديثه: د. سعيد بن علي بن وهف القحطاني- توزيع مؤسسة الجريسي.